How to Turn a First Date into a Second Date

How to Turn a First Date into a Second Date

How to move from a first date to a second date

As I look out of my living room window, much of what I see is a construction site.  The condo that is being built next to my apartment is rising rapidly.  No longer visible is the building’s foundation that construction workers lay for many weeks.  Having suffered through many loud weeks, I can tell you that the building’s foundation looks stable.  The foundation needs to be stable to handle everything that’s being built on top of it.

Relationships are much the same.  They need stable foundations and building the foundation starts on your first date.

Unlike a building whose construction plans are finalized months in advance, you and your potential partner have no blueprints.  There is no master plan moving you from being strangers to being partners.  There is no guarantee that your first date will turn into a second and your second date into a third.  Each of you is responsible for moving your budding relationship forward — turning one date into another, and then another.

THE END OF A FIRST DATE IS AWKWARD ENOUGH ALREADY

Can a little awkwardness be cute?  Sure, a little awkwardness never killed a relationship.  But let’s face the fact that awkwardness is awkward.  The less your first date is awkward, the better.

Dates tend to end on awkward notes.  After a nice evening, the man typically walks the woman to her car/subway/doorstep.  Both of them search for something to say before they part ways.  That conversation usually sounds something like this:

Woman:  This was fun.  Thank you for the drink.

Man:  I had a good time, too.  We should do this again sometime.

Woman:  Yeah.

Man:  Ok.

Woman:  Well, good night.

Man:  You too.  I’ll call you.

You can do worse than that, but it can also be better.  And the better you do, the more likely your second date will actually take place.

PLAN YOUR SECOND DATE DURING YOUR FIRST DATE

My hope is that during your first date, you and your potential partner learned a lot about each other.  Ideally, you discovered what your potential partner enjoys and a little about what he or she dislikes.  That information is gold!  You need to leverage it.  Meaning, you need to use that knowledge to your advantage.

Check out this conversation and see how simple information can be leveraged to move a first date towards a second one:
Woman:  I know I’m sounding like a typical girl, but I really love chocolate.

Man:  I do, too.  There’s a great food fair every Sunday down by the bridge.  They have amazing chocolate there.  Have you gone yet?

Woman:  No.

Either One:  Great!  Let’s do that on Sunday if you’re not busy.

Do you see what I mean by leveraging what you learn?  In this not-so-fictional interaction, the woman shared her passion (chocolate) and the man matched her passion to an activity (food fair).  Either the man or the woman could have taken the next crucial step of proposing they do the activity together.  But regardless of who who asks, the couple now has a second date planned before the first date is over.  The awkward end-of-date “I’ll call you” conversation was averted and some serious momentum was generated instead.

(We will talk about kissing at the end of a date in the next email.)

WHAT IF YOU MISSED YOUR OPPORTUNITY TO PLAN THE SECOND DATE WHILE ON THE FIRST DATE?

You hung out with someone awesome and didn’t ask him or her out on a second date yet?  Sometimes opportunities get missed.  It happens.  You forget.  You get flustered.  You get nervous.  Don’t despair!

You haven’t lost your chance…yet.  Pick up the phone, call your potential partner, and make plans.  Now!

There are a million reasons not to:

  • You’ve got work in the morning.
  • You’re not sure of your schedule.
  • You not sure if he or she likes you.

I’ve heard all the excuses.  Can I give you one reason to pick up the phone immediately?Regret.  Nothing stinks more than regret — the feeling that you grasped something amazing and let it slip through your fingers.  The only way you can avoid feeling regret is by picking up the phone and trying.  The worst thing that happens is that he or she says, “no.”  

GIVE THIS GIFT TO SOMEONE ELSE

We’re getting towards the end of the *FREE* STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO DATING SMARTER AND FINDING LOVE FASTER.  Have you enjoyed our time together?

Have you learned something?
Now is the time to pass this gift onto others.  Please share it.  It takes so little and means so much.
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QUICK REVIEW

  • The end of a first date can be awkward
  • Reduce the awkwardness by planning your second date while on your first date
  • If your first date is over, pick up the phone now and call your potential partner about a second date
Jeremy Hamburgh
Happy dating,
Jeremy Hamburgh
jeremy@hitchcraftdating.com
Follow: Follow Me On Facebook Follow Me On Twitter

PS:  This is a chapter in Hitchcraft Dating’s *FREE* STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO DATING SMARTER AND FINDING LOVE FASTER.  You can get it quickly and easily at by clicking here.   You also get other great freebies:

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Trackbacks

  1. […] am 100% in favor of that.  Both of you leave happy and ready for more.  (You remembered to calendar your second date, […]

  2. […] Have you made plans for a second date? […]

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