Search Your World is not a Google function

Search Your World is not a Google function

Search Your World

Google revolutionized the way the world searched the internet.  Not once, not twice, but over-and-over again.  You are forgiven if you didn’t notice it, but one of the biggest leaps Google accomplished for humanity internet users was Search, plus Your World (S+YW).

In the olden days, when two people did the same Google search, they got the same search results. Then Google changed search by incorporating local businesses into your search results.  And then, ever so quietly, Google rolled out S+YW.

No longer did your search for sneakers yield the same result as my search for sneakers.  With S+YW, each of our search results included sneaker-related photos and posts from our social network friends.

What does this have to do with dating?

One of the seven strategies for meeting singles is to Search Your World.  Don’t confuse it with Google’s S+YW!  They’re both important and have similar names, but they mean different things.

(Were you expecting a deeper connection between S+YW and dating?  Sorry to disappoint.)

SEARCH YOUR WORLD AND EXPAND YOUR HORIZONS

Searching Your World is all about meeting people in the world around you.  That sounds so simple and yet so many people struggle with it.

Why is it difficult to meet strangers?  Well, for starters, it requires a handful of skills:

  • Self-confidence to break the silence
  • Something to say in order to break the silence
  • Flexibility to go wherever the conversation leads
  • All the while, dealing with the social difficulties your diagnosis causes

There are rewards for putting those skills together and meeting strangers.

Just a few minutes ago, I said “hi” to a neighbor I never saw before.  In fewer than 20 floors I found out that she owned her own business and that she just returned from China where she visited her socially-conscious factory.  Pretty cool, right!?

I’ve met lots of fascinating people by Searching My World, including:

  • A heroic nurse who carried patients out of a burning hospital whom I met while on jury duty
  • The chef/owner of a hot new restaurant in Brooklyn whom I met in the subway
  • The president of a company that makes biodegradable tableware whom I met at a friend’s birthday

My life is more interesting because I’ve practiced the skills necessary to meet interesting looking strangers.  Do you want to see what Searching Your World can do for you?

SEARCH YOUR WORLD WITH A BIG HEART AND AN OPEN MIND

Too many singles divide the world into people they’re interested in dating and people they’re not.  Are you doing that, too?

I hope not.  You get more out of life by meeting everyone and anyone, not just attractive potential partners.

As you begin talking with kind strangers, you become more interesting and knowledgeable.  Then your Love Network expands.  Your confidence increases as you become a better conversationalist.  And that is important because…

Confidence is what will allow you to approach the men or women you’re attracted to.

But first you have to commit to being friendly to people of all ages, races, genders, nationalities and religions.

DON’T TAKE THE LETDOWNS PERSONALLY

I was walking to one of my workshops on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, and parallel to me was an older woman carrying bags of farmers market vegetables.  I love farmers markets,  so I said, “Those beet greens look beautiful.

The woman looked at me like I was crazy.

Hoping to have a short veggie-related conversation, I tried again, “What farmers market did you got them from?

Uptown,” she said, not even bothering to look in my direction.

I was disappointed in myself.  What happened to my people skills?  My job is to help others talk to strangers, shouldn’t I be able to talk to one, too?

I had no right to be disappointed in myself.  What I forgot was that people are entitled to live in their own bubbles.  People are busy and they don’t always want to be bothered.

There’s an added layer of complexity when neurodiverse people are talking to neurotypicals.  Some neurotypicals just don’t know how to interact with you.  I can think of a few explanations:

There’s no way to sugarcoat the fact that some people just aren’t interested in chatting with you, for whatever reason.  It hurts, especially when you make the first move.  But as far as risks go, Search Your World may be worth it.

THE BEST HOMEWORK YOU’LL EVER RECEIVE

This homework has the potential to change your life.  I’m not joking.  But it requires you to step out of your comfort zone.

Step One is to go to the Comments section and answer these questions:

  • How do you feel about talking to strangers?
  • What are your fears about talking to stranger?
Step Two is to say “hi” to three strangers every single day for the next week and ask each person, “How was your day?
Step Three is to go back to the Comments section 30 days from now and answer the same questions:
  • Now how do you feel about talking to strangers?
  • Have your fears decreased?

Do it!  Commit!

Can I tell you something?

I had a client with social phobias.  He wanted a girlfriend, but the only women he ever met wanted his money.  I gave him this homework assignment and…

…it wasn’t an overnight success.

He started slowly.  He stumbled quite a bit at first, barely able to ask strangers the question.  But he kept with it.  By the end of the month, he landed a date.  And then another.  And then another.  He was astounded.  So was I!

Now it’s your turn.  You be that person.  You conquer your fears and start filling up your date book.

WHO KNOWS BETTER THAN YOU?

Sometimes I feel selfish asking you to spread the word to your friends.  For example, I could sleep fewer hours and use the extra time to promote of our Village.  I could go out to dinner less frequently and use the money to advertise our Village.  But I don’t want to.  Do you know why?

You know about the benefits of being a Villager better than I do.  You know more people who could benefit from being a Villager than I do.  I could never promote our Village as well as you can!

The way I see it, I’m your advocate and you are mine.  Nobody roots harder for you than I do.  I hope you root for me, too.  Sharing the Free Dating Guide is how you show it.  Personally, I love that about our relationship.

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QUICK REVIEW

  • Search Your World by meeting the wonderful people around you
  • Say “hi” and ask them about their day
  • Don’t just meet potential partners; meet everyone
  • Homework: Meet 3 new people per day for 30 days.  Post your thoughts in the Commentsbefore you start and after the 30 days.
Jeremy Hamburgh
Jeremy Hamburgh
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PS:  This is a chapter in Hitchcraft Dating’s *FREE* STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO DATING SMARTER AND FINDING LOVE FASTER.  You can get it quickly and easily at by clicking here.   You also get other great freebies:

  • FREE articles loaded with actionable dating tips and advice sent directly to your inbox
  • An exclusive FREE Report: 15+ THOUGHT PROVOKING DATE QUESTIONS TO SPARK A REAL CONVERSATION
  • A buy-one-get-one FREE certificate for private coaching

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Comments

  1. Tony Langdon says:

    It can be beneficial to talk to strangers. Some situations lend themselves to it – unusual weather (the changeable weather in this part of the world is an endless source of conversation starters!), being stuck waiting for a train – often time for a joke or comment, or on a plane trip. I’ve struck up conversations in those situations and many more. 99% are passing conversations, but occasionally you catch up with the same person again at a later time.

    • Jeremy Hamburgh says:

      Tony,

      I agree wholeheartedly that unusual weather and train delays are excellent excuses to say hi to a stranger. And you’re right again that 99% of the strangers you talk to will be in your life for less than 10 minutes. Sometimes, though, those 10 minutes are the most stimulating minutes of your day. In fact, I often find that the case.

      Jeremy

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  1. […] to be an active dater.  I try to get you out of your apartment and into your world.  (In fact, the entire last chapter was about that.)  But you know what?  Sometimes you just want to date from the comfort of your […]

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