Are You Liked? How to Tell When Someone is Interested in You.

Are You Liked?  How to Tell When Someone is Interested in You.

How to know if a woman or woman is interested in you.

As you may know, I run a dating workshop at Adaptations.  Every semester, I ask my participants what topics they want to cover.  Every semester, my participants want to discuss the same topic:  How can I tell if someone likes me?

It isn’t just a people with autism, ADHD, learning disabilities and other neurodiverse diagnoses asking that question; the question is universal.  Why?  People fear rejection, and one way to avoid rejection is to assume that potential partners are not attracted to you unless they clearly show otherwise.  In other words, to avoid rejection, people want to be super certain that their potential partners are interested in them before making the next move.

Depending on your diagnosis, your fear of rejection may be heightened by a lifetime of difficulty socializing caused by your struggles with reading body language and deciphering social cues.  Let me see what I can do to help…


Most neurotypicals can rely on their instincts to tell them if their potential partner is romantically interested in them.  Like many of my workshop participants, you may not be able to rely on your instincts.  In fact, you may not even have those instincts!

That’s okay!  You can adapt.  You can replace your instincts with good observational skills.  Now you just need to know what to look for…


This would be a great time to find your Action Plan.  Go ahead, I’ll wait…

In your Action Plan, start by writing the heading How To Know If My Potential Partner Likes Me.

We are going to cover four places to look for signs that you potential partner likes you.  So, under that heading, I want you to make four columns: 

  • Face
  • Body
  • Conversation
  • Overt signs
In the next few paragraphs, I am going to outline indications of romantic interest to look for in each of those four categories. Copy them into your Action Plan and use them as a checklist.  


For me, a person’s face is the easiest place for you to look for signs of romantic interest.  I say that because every region of your potential partner’s face gives signals that he or she is interested or disinterested in you.

Write into your Action Plan the following signs to look for in your potential partner:

  • Smiles often
  • Touches his or her nose, ears, lips or face often
  • Runs a hand through his or her hair
  • Sweats or blushes when it isn’t warm
  • Concentrates more on you than on whatever else is going on around you
  • Makes solid eye contact
  • Makes flirty eye contact with you
  • Licks his or her lips
  • Frequently nods his or her head in agreement
What other signs do you look for in a person’s face?  Share your experiences in the Comments, below.


Your potential partner’s body gives strong clues as to what he or she is feeling.

Be on the lookout for:

What other signs do you look for in a person’s body language?  Share your experiences in the Comments, below.


Looking for clues in conversation can be fruitful, but a little trickier.

The key to interpreting the cues of a conversation is to combine it with observations of your potential partner’s body language.  Good signs to look for:

  • Laughs at your jokes
  • Answers your questions in long sentences, stories or Dynamic Answers
  • Asks you follow-up questions
  • Shares deep or intimate personal information
  • Pays deep attention to what you are saying
  • Teases you playfully
  • Tries to make you smile
  • Tries to impress you
  • Uses self-deprecating humor (which is different from just being negative)
What other signs do you look for in a conversation?  Again, drop a note in the Comments, below.


Every once in a while, a potential partner comes along who has no interest in playing games.  He or she is straight forward, bordering on blunt.  You’ll know you found a potential partner like that when he or she asks you directly:

  • what qualities you are looking for in a partner
  • what you’re doing tonight / tomorrow / this weekend
  • whether you want to do something together
  • whether you are single
  • to exchange phone numbers
What other unmistakable cues do you look for?  You know where to share them in the Comments!


I have a feeling that you do like me, and you value our time together.  Just the fact that you’re reading this, weeks after joining our Village lets me know that you and I are on the right track.

Have you left any comments?  Not only do comments let me know you value our relationship, they let other Villagers know as well.  If you haven’t left a comment yet, this email has loads to comment on.  Please do it!

I also accept as signs that you like me:

  • You forward my emails to your single friends, which helps keep the Village growing
  • You use your buy-one-get-one certificate so that I can work with you individually
  • You share my emails with your social networks by pressing these buttons: Facebook Twitter Google+ LinkedIn StumbleUpon


  • Neurotypicals can rely on their instincts — by reading body language and social cues — to decide whether potential partner’s are romantically interested in them
  • You may not have those instincts, but you can still train your eyes to look for signs of romantic interest
  • Your potential partner’s face, arms/hands, body and words provide certain signs of romantic interest
  • Make a checklist of the different signs of romantic interest.  The more indicators you can check off, the more likely your potential partner is romantically interested in you.
Jeremy Hamburgh
Jeremy Hamburgh
Know what I’m thinking before anyone else: Follow Me On Facebook Follow Me On Twitter

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  1. Nathaniel Brown says:

    I really would like to know if my “Boss” likes me? When I first starting working for the company she put a sticky note on my desk wanting to engage in a sexual act etc with me. I never responded or acted on her advance because I was just getting out of a marriage. But months later I became very attracted to her because of all the time with spent together working etc. I approached her about a date and she said it was inappropriate of me. I very confuse about the signals I get from her with the flirting, me spending time with her on my lunches etc and so forth to her always engaging conversation about my personal life. I’m really confuse!

    • I think knowingly unknowingly u have hurt her ego by letting her down 4 first time, and u getting attracted to her is just not a mere accident or as such , women specially like if boss love challenges and ur rejection made her more determined to gain ur attention. Look for particularly 4 these 3 signs if u really want to know that she is interested or not. 1. Her eyes , if she can’t make eye contact while rejecting ur offer or tries to maintain a composed posture. 2 Babbling , yeah we girls have tendency to get nervous around people we attracted, search for signs 4 nervous habit 3rd and most important thing ask her directly many cases we love man of guts .Good luck


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