Are You Brave Enough to Walk Up to Strangers?

Are You Brave Enough to Walk Up to Strangers?

Overcoming the fear of approaching attractive strangers

When I think about my early dating life, I can still feel those pangs of anxiety.  I still remember hanging out with my best friend every couple of days and asking, “So have you met any girls?

No,” he would respond.  “Have you?

Nope,” I would say, feeling defeated.

This same conversation repeated itself for years.  Years!

I didn’t meet women I found attractive because the mere thought of approaching them was paralyzing.  My mind raced in a thousand directions and my body went in none.

Do you know that feeling?

It’s time to do something about it.

YOU’RE NOT DEFECTIVE!  SEEING AN ATTRACTIVE POTENTIAL PARTNER CAUSES YOUR BODY TO REACT PHYSICALLY

As it turns out, my anxiety over meeting new, attractive people was universal.  It was real.  It was biological.

When you see an attractive potential partner, your body reacts physically.  Your heart rate goes up. Your breathing speeds up.  Blood is diverted to your skin, making you blush and feel overheated.  Your palms get sweaty.  It’s called biofeedback.

Biofeedback is your body’s physical reaction to being stressed-out by an attractive potential partner.  Your body is releasing adrenaline, dopamine, serotonin, epinephrine and norepinephrine into your bloodstream, making it difficult for you to think clearly.

The most frequent result — devastating for dating — is that you do nothing.  You don’t move an inch.  And, as a result, your potential partner gets away.

FIRST MOVE FEAR CAUSES SOCIAL PARALYSIS

Historically, each gender had a set role in meeting strangers.  Women looked pretty in order to entice men to walk over.  Men approached women in hopes of being invited to stay for a while.

These roles are breaking down.  Men still are expected to approach women, but more and more women are approaching men (or at least doing a better job of luring them in).  As a result, the anxiety of approaching a stranger is crossing gender boundaries.  I call that anxiety First Move Fear.

Let me tell you something else about First Move Fear:  It grows.

This may seem familiar….

You see a guy or gal across the room….you want to walk over…your First Move Fear hits….you realize you have nothing to say….your First Move Fear increases….you try to calm yourself down….that doesn’t happen…your First Move Fear increases….you hope he or she notices you…that doesn’t happen, either….your First Move Fear increases….and then he or she is gone.  Your First Move Fear is gone, too, but replacing it is a whole lot of regret.  You regret missing out on a great person.

Here’s the good news:  First Move Fear can be conquered.  I’m here to help you do that.  That’s the next post — or better yet, get it delivered to your inbox when you get the *Free* Step-By-Step Guide to Dating Smarter and Finding Love Faster, which you can sign up for in the right sidebar.

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QUICK REVIEW

  • Your body reacts physically when you see someone attractive
  • The physical reaction is called biofeedback
  • Biofeedback is responsible for First Move Fear — the paralysis you feel when you want to meet an attractive potential partner
Jeremy Hamburgh
Jeremy Hamburgh
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  1. […] the last article, we talked about how paralyzing First Move Fear can be.  Today we start eliminating your First Move Fear.  Get out your Action Plan and write down […]

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