What Fight Club Can Teach You About Finding Love on an Airplane


Have you ever experienced the feeling of having a ton of good ideas when you’re not ready for them but no good ideas when you need one?  That is where I am coming from.

Three hours ago, I was at home, enjoying all the WiFi a boy could handle.  The WiFi gave me access to my own Action Plan, which is a treasure trove of ideas that I keep on a document in the cloud for articles I want to share with you.  What is cool about having an Action Plan in the cloud is that I can add to it, amend it or get inspired by it, as long as I have internet access.  But I lost my internet access for three hours, because that is what happens on an airplane.  All of which made me think of a scene from the movie Fight Club.


I am talking about the scene in which Tyler Durden (Brad Pitt) tells the  person sitting next to him on the airplane that he is a  “single serving friend?”(If you’re saying to yourself, “I have not even seen Fight Club; it was before my time,” then you just made me feel really old.)

Airplanes are uniquely suited for single “serving friendships” because there is not much else for you to do except be friendly to the stranger on whose lap you are practically sitting.  (The alternative is completely ignoring your row mate, but that is not what a member of our Village does.)

My question to you is the same one I have for Tyler Durden:  Why does your row mate have to be so disposable?  Why can’t your friendship started on the airplane continue into life outside the airport?


Of course you can start a friendship — and maybe more — on an airplane.  Next time you’re on a flight, acknowledge your row mate immediately.  Nothing big, maybe a “good morning” and “Are you coming or going?”  Surprisingly, that will set you apart from most people your row mate has even flown with because, chances are, nobody ever bothered to acknowledge him or her.

Where you go from there is up to you.  Travel gives you so many topics to talk about.  My favorite was bantering about useless pet tchotchkes in Sky Mall.  Now that Sky Mall is out of business, I am testing out asking people what item they will miss most in Sky Mall.  What would you talk about on a flight?  Post your ideas in the the Comments, below.

Just to be clear, the likelihood that your row mate is (a) your age, (b) of the gender you want to date, and (c) compatible with you, are slim.  But…and a very big but…meeting your Special Someone on a flight is not your goal.  Your goal is Love Networking.  (If you don’t know what that is, then you should be getting the *FREE* STEP-BY-STEP GUIDE TO DATING SMARTER AND FINDING LOVE FASTER.  Sign up on the right side of this page.)  Use the time in which your knees are digging into the seat in front of you to explore whether your row mate knows someone who may be interested in you.


The nice thing about air travel is that there is a 50% chance that your row mate lives in the area that you are traveling to.  (Don’t get snarky with me about layover possibilities.). So, even if he or she does not have a potential partner in mind for you, he or she may be able to direct you to a place to meet singles.

Am I telling you to aim for a one night stand on your trip to Topeka?  No!  I am telling you that meeting new people is a skill, and it takes practice, and you might as well use your time in a different city to practice meeting new people.  That fear of rejection?  It is much less when you know that you will never see anyone from that city ever again.  That joy of success in meeting a new person?  It will be that much more exciting because you did it away from your “home turf.”


Immediately greet the person next to you on your next airplane trip.  Then, leave him or her alone until after takeoff.  When you are safely at cruising altitude, engage him or her in conversation.  Then. transition to Love Networking before the conversation wanes.

Happy dating,

Jeremy Hamburgh

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