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Hitchcraft Dating is not leaving, it is just in the process of becoming something else — a one stop hub for all things social for people with special needs.  Dating, friendship, job relationships…it’ll all be there.  More updates as they become available!

What Do You Make?

Decision Making Machine

Decision Making Machine

WHAT DO YOU MAKE?

That is a pretty bold question to ask, don’t you think?  Which is exactly why I opened an email sent by the brilliant business mind, Seth Godin, with the same exact subject line.  Seth, as you may imagine, was not asking me for my salary.  He was easing me into the fact that what I make are decisions.

YOU ARE A DECISION MAKING MACHINE

Each day you decide whether to get out of bed or go back to sleep.  You decide to go whether to work or sit on the couch.  You decided whether to read this article rather or play Mindcraft (or maybe both at the same).  Why?  Because you are a Decision Making Machine.

I bet you never thought of yourself as a Decision Making Machine.  I never did.  I thought I was just doing “my thing.”  But Seth made me realize that I had a choice:  I can either go through life or make the life that I want.  In other words, I can be passive about my future or actively shape it.  I chose the latter.

Which have you chosen in the past?  Which do you choose going forward?

NOT MAKING A DECISION IS ALSO A DECISION

The term “paralysis by analysis” is one of my favorites.  I have a close family member (ahem, father) who is the consummate analyzer.  No joke, when we were choosing what seats to buy at Yankee Stadium, my father insisted that we calculate the hypotenuse to determine which seats were physically closer to home plate.  Then I had enough.  My Decision Making Machinery kicked in and I told my father that we needed to choose seats before someone else took them.

Endless analysis is one way that you are guaranteed to get nothing done.  You keep on planning how to reach your goal without ever taking a step towards achieving it.  And then, at some point, it is too late to make a decision.  You say to yourself, “Well, too late now.  On to the next thing.”

Here is the thing:  You made a decision.  You made a decision not to make one.  And, the result of your decision is that you made no progress.

MISSION POSSIBLE: YOUR ASSIGNMENT

I want you to dedicate two pages of your Action Plan to this assignment:

  • Sheet 1:  Make a list of the good decisions you have made in dating.
  • Sheet 2:  Make a list of the decisions you put off and shouldn’t have.

Which list is longer?  Which list is keeping you back?

Happy dating,

Jeremy Hamburgh

ReelAbilities: Join Me for the New York Premier of Keep Rollin’

Jeremy Hamburgh at ReelAbilities

JOIN JEREMY HAMBURGH FOR THE NY PREMIERE OF KEEP ROLLIN’ Stefan Hillebrand, Oliver Paulus / Switzerland / Germany / German / 95 min After incurring a spinal cord injury after a snowboarding accident, Valentin is forced by his father to participate in a theatre project for people with disabilities. In his resistance to the idea, […]

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Autism Spectrum News: Three Ways You Can Help Your Child Date Smarter and Feel Less Frustrated

Autism Spectrum News Dating and Relationship Issue

Reprinted from the Autism Spectrum News, Fall 2014, p.24. My former client beckoned me over to his table as I sat down for dinner with professor Stephen Shore, who had been a guest at my class. Before I could say, “great to see you,” my former client grabbed the hand of the young lady next […]

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What Fight Club Can Teach You About Finding Love on an Airplane

  Have you ever experienced the feeling of having a ton of good ideas when you’re not ready for them but no good ideas when you need one?  That is where I am coming from. Three hours ago, I was at home, enjoying all the WiFi a boy could handle.  The WiFi gave me access […]

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How to Survive (and Find Love) During a Zombie Apocalypse

Paulette Penzvalto ven diagram for zombies and dating

Guest Contributor Paulette Penzvalto We’ve all watched the movies and read the books: a beautiful young person is singing and wandering alone through the woods and happens upon a handsome stranger.  They immediately fall in love, fight the hordes and ride off into a perfect sunset.  This sounds romantic, but this method of finding love […]

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Review of the Autism and Dating workshop hosted by GRASP Chicago and Chicagoland Autism Connection

autism, aspergers, dating and relationships

I was honored that my workshop, Autism, Aspergers and Dating, was the first community event ever to take place at Project 1212,  a residential home supported by the Julie and Michael Tracy Family Foundation and Rush University Medical Center Autism Assessment, Research & Treatment Services  Center (AARTS). The event was generously co-sponsored by GRASP Chicago and Chicagoland Autism […]

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My Ultimate First Date Checklist

Everything you need to know for a successful first date

I’m going to keep this short and sweet.  This email is essentially a checklist to make your first dates memorable and productive.  I would suggest printing it out and reviewing it right before your date. Heck, you could even bring it with you and glance at it quickly while you “go to the bathroom.” Enjoy! […]

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My Favorite Little Post-Date Trick

How to use a text message to generate momentum after the first date

No matter who you are — male, female, gay, straight, neurotypical, or neurodiverse — the first date is a test of many skills.  Perhaps the hardest is ending the first date on a high note to give you momentum towards a second date. I want to share with you my favorite little post-date trick to […]

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To Kiss or Not to Kiss? 4 First Date Scenarios

To kiss or not to kiss on a first date?

Clients ask me for advice about whether they should kiss on the first date and I can’t give them a simple answer.  There are a lot of people in this world and each person is comfortable moving a relationship forward at his or her own speed.  What is too fast for you may be agonizingly […]

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